One of the most humorous incidents in the aftermath of the Lewis and Clark Expedition was poetical rather than political. In those days, political disagreements were fought out in newspapers affiliated with the rival parties, often by anonymous correspondents. While those newspapers affiliated with President Jefferson trumpeted the return of the Lewis and Clark expedition in September 1806 and heaped praise on the homecoming heroes, not everyone was impressed, and some even resorted to barbed satire.

Joel Barlow
An epic poem produced by Joel Barlow to commemorate Meriwether Lewis’s achievement proved an irresistible target. Barlow was a Republican politician, diplomat and writer whose claim to fame was producing bombastic poetry extolling the glory of the young American nation. Barlow was best know for his epic poem, The Vision of Columbus: a poem in nine books, which was published in 1787, thanks to subscriptions he had received from people as distinguished as King Louis XVI of France, the Marquis de Lafayette, and George Washington. This 250-page monster not only praised Christopher Columbus, but provided an entire landscape of America –political, social, and geographic – and instructed its citizens on how best to appreciate their country. In 1807, Barlow had returned to this theme, this time with a 10-volume poem called The Columbiad, an epic vision of the rise of freedom in the New World.
Historian Albert Furtwangler put it diplomatically when he said, “In the view of most critics, then and later, [Barlow’s] talents for poetry could not sustain a serious epic.” Although sensational at the time, Barlow’s verse is painful to modern eyes. His poem about the Lewis and Clark Expedition, “On the Discoveries of Captain Lewis,” is no exception. Penned for a homecoming dinner party to be held in Lewis’s honor in Washington, D.C. on January 14, 1807, the poem is full of hyperbole, mixed metaphors, and just plain awful verse. The premise of the poem is Christopher Columbus looking down from heaven and praising Lewis as the hope of a new millennium for the United States. Apologies to our readers, but I cannot resist including the whole of it here.
Let the Nile cloak his head in the clouds, and defy
The researches of science and time;
Let the Niger escape the keen traveller’s eye,
By plunging or changing his clime.
Columbus! not so shall thy boundless domain
Defraud thy brave sons of their right;
Streams, midlands, and shorelands elude us in vain.
We shall drag their dark regions to light.
Look down, sainted sage, from thy synod of Gods;
See, inspired by thy venturous soul,
Mackenzie roll northward his earth-draining floods,
And surge the broad waves to the pole.
With the same soaring genius thy Lewis ascends,
And, seizing the car of the sun,
O’er the sky-propping hills and high waters he bends,
And gives the proud earth a new zone.
Potowmak, Ohio, Missouri had felt
Half her globe in their cincture comprest;
His long curving course has completed the belt,
And tamed the last tide of the west.
Then hear the loud voice of the nation proclaim,
And all ages resound the decree:
Let our occident stream bear the young hero’s name,
Who taught him his path to the sea.
These four brother floods, like a garland of flowers,
Shall entwine all our states in a band
Conform and confederate their wide-spreading powers,
And their wealth and their wisdom expand.
From Darien to Davis one garden shall bloom,
Where war’s weary banners are furl’d,
And the far scenting breezes that waft its perfume,
Shall settle the storms of the world.
Then hear the loud voice of the nation proclaim
And all ages resound the decree:
Let our occident stream bear the young hero’s name,
Who taught him his path to the sea.
Barlow’s poem was hailed at the dinner and was reprinted widely in the American press. It is worth noting that the verse in the poem that attracted the most attention was the last one. Barlow was suggesting that the “occident stream” – the Columbia River – be renamed in honor of Meriwether Lewis.

John Quincy Adams
Barlow’s poem, and his suggestion, proved too big a target to resist. An anonymous Federalist published a satirical jab at the poem and the expedition in the Monthly Anthology and Boston Review in March 1807. The satire is attributed to Jefferson’s rival and eventual successor in the White House —his Federalist nemesis, John Quincy Adams. (Adams never explicitly claimed the satire, but it is worth noting that in the monthly minutes of the Anthology Society for February, the following entry was made: “An excellent poetical communication from J.Q. Adams at Washington was approved.”)
Adam’s poem was set to the tune of Yankee Doodle. Adams said in a preface to the poem, “Our intention is not to deprecate the merits of Captain Lewis’s publick services. We think highly of the spirit and judgment, with which he has executed the duty undertaken by him, and we rejoice at the rewards bestowed by congress upon him and his companions.” Nevertheless, the poem begins by poking fun at the supposed scientific achievements of the expedition and points out everything that Lewis didn’t discover.
Good people listen to my tale, ‘Tis nothing but what true is;
I’ll tell you of the mighty deed Atchiev’d by Captain Lewis –
How starting from the Atlantick shore By fair and easy motion,
He journied, all the way by land, Until he met the ocean.
Heroick, sure, the toil must be To travel through the woods, sir;
And never meet a foe, yet save His person and his goods, sir!
What marvels on the way he found He’ll tell you, if inclin’d, sir –
But I shall only now disclose The things he did not find, sir.
He never with a Mammoth met, However you may wonder;
Not even with a Mammoth’s bone, Above the ground or under –
And, spite of all the pains he took The animal to track, sir,
He never could o’ertake the hog With navel on his back, sir.
And from this day his course began,Till even it was ended,
He never found an Indian tribe From Welchmen straight descended:
Nor, much as of Philosophers The fancies it might tickle;
To season his adventures, met A Mountain, sous’d in pickle.
Despite the sarcastic words, the poem at one point seems to absolve Lewis of blame for Barlow’s hyperbole. Adams suggests that Lewis himself would pooh-pooh the absurd claims Barlow made about his abilities: “To bind a Zone about the earth, He knew he was not able—, They say he did –but ask himself, He’ll tell you ’tis a fable.”
He never dreamt of taming tides, Like monkeys or like bears, sir –
A school, for teaching floods to flow, Was not among his cares, sir –
Had rivers ask’d of him their path, They had but mov’d his laughter-
They knew their courses, all, as well Before he came as after.
And must we then resign the hope These Elements of changing?
And must we still, alas! be told That after all his ranging,
The Captain could discover nought But Water in the Fountains?
Must Forests still be form’d of Trees? Of rugged Rocks the Mountains?
We never will be so fubb’d off, As sure as I’m a sinner!
Come-let us all subscribe, and ask The HERO to a Dinner-
And Barlow stanzas shall indite- A Bard, the tide who tames, sir-
And if we cannot alter things, By G–, we’ll change their names, sir!
The poem then takes aim at Barlow’s suggestion that the Columbia River be renamed in honor of Lewis, suggesting that Jefferson’s mistress Dusky Sally, Joel Barlow, and even the United States itself should get a new name. The poem ends with a dig at Jefferson and Barlow, suggesting that since the Republicans couldn’t bring about a French-style Reign of Terror, they are going to undermine the Constitution by confusing everyone with a Babel of names.
Let old Columbus be once more Degraded from his glory;
And not a river by his name Remember him in story-
For what is old Discovery Compar’d to that which new is?
Strike-strike Columbia river out, And put in – river Lewis!
Let dusky Sally henceforth bear The name of Isabella;
And let the mountain, all of salt, Be christen’d Monticella –
The hog with navel on his back Tom Pain may be when drunk, sir –
And Joel call the Prairie-dog, Which once was call’d a Skunk, sir.
And when the wilderness shall yield To bumpers, bravely brimming,
A nobler victory then men;– While all our head are swimming
We’ll dash the bottle on the wall And name (the thing’s agreed on)
Our first-rate-ship United States, The flying frigate Fredon.
True – Tom and Joel now, no more Can overturn a nation;
And work, by butchery and blood, A great regeneration; –
Yet, still we can turn inside out Old Nature’s Constitution,
And bring a Babel back of names – Huzzah! for REVOLUTION!
Federalists got a good laugh out of Adams’ poem, but fortunately for the future of American letters, the poetical war of words ended here. The merits of the expedition continued to be a matter of public debate, with Jefferson partisans hailing Lewis’s scientific and anthropologic discoveries, and Federalists complaining that the expedition was an expensive and unproductive boondoggle.
Although the Lewis and Clark Expedition seems tailor-made for an epic poem about the American experience, no other poet attempted it. The journals have to speak for themselves.
More interesting reading: Lewis and Clark Return to Heroes’ Welcome — or Do They?
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